IMG_1224I am one of those sensitive individuals who just cannot bear the weight of unhealed emotions and traumas, or maybe in other words I had enough emotional trauma with my cup overflowing so that long ago I started looking at different ways to heal myself and feel better and better. My strongest and the most shattering traumas were being involved in dramatic car accident where I was badly injured and lost my beloved father at a very young age and also couple of sexual abuses which somehow injured my healthy perspective on men and sexuality in general.

The fundamental flaw of our educational system is that we are not taught how to handle emotions or how to heal old emotions which are the core of our well being. We are expected to function from our minds as very rational and sensible beings, totally ignoring how we feel. Some individuals have difficulty distinguishing between thinking and feeling, well I was one of them to some extent. We are not given tools to access our subconscious and heal what we’ve been suppressing for years.

So where do we start?

The good way is to start observing our current emotions and often ask ourselves how do I feel?  Is it sadness or grief or maybe frustration? It is good to give it some time to process being fully present and aware and breathing into your belly. We can ask questions (preferably with the eyes closed) like when was the last time I felt this way? When was the first time I felt this way? Let your emotion know that you are giving it your full attention now. Some memories or vague feelings might come up to your present awareness. Stay present with your memory and breathe without judging, just simply observing. If you get in touch with your childhood trauma simply watch with your current awareness and try to understand how can you comfort that child that you were, what are her/his needs? Talk to your inner child and get an idea what is it that that child needed then?  To heal this you might use affirmations for as long as you feel relief. For example: for a child who had no space to express their needs you might write:

I, (your name), feel important and free to express my needs.

You, (your name), feel important and free to express your needs.

She, ( your name), feels important and free to express your needs.

You choose an affirmation which resonates with you. Play with several of them.

You can write it for at least 21 days or longer until you feel you healed it and it is not bothering you anymore, you don’t feel overwhelmed or victimized. You  have achieved clarity and feel empowered. If it comes up some time in the future you repeat the process. You can also use your creativity and use your imagination on how would you like to soothe your inner child. Maybe by writing letters with compassion or maybe taking your inner child for a beautiful walk by the beach in your visualizations? Be creative.

Another great healing modality is EFT. Once you get in touch with your wound and have some clarity about it you can tap (watch YouTube for examples). For example for a child with unmet needs it could sound like this:

Even though I was neglected, felt unloved and ignored I still love, accept and forgive myself (this is a so called set-up statement which we use to express what made us feel uncomfortable). Then we move on expressing how we want to feel now: “And now I choose to love myself to accept the way I am, to give all attention and time that I need. I am important. I was born in  this world as a powerful creator and I am important as everybody else, I have power to create my own well being”, etc.

The idea here is that we want our own healing and actively ask for it. The universe will provide the right tools for as. The life itself will bring up the unresolved issues again and again until we no longer can hold them.

If at any time we feel like crying or screaming or laughing let it happen, give it a time, breathe, write, let if flow. But don’t ignore it, don’t suppress.

For some other people it might be difficult to reach their unhealed emotions without some other type of body work. I would recommend trying rebirthing, massage, laughter, dance, yoga, energy healing or rituals. I recently  was surprised that a cacao ceremony worked for me well for reaching increased awareness and getting some insights. Some people use healing plant medicine, but I have no personal experience with this so can’t comment.

Another powerful way to look at your emotional healing is to cultivate awareness through meditation or yoga, or simply by becoming an observer. You feel whatever surfaces, but you don’t give it your power, you just observe. In  this way you transcend your pain, it’s not that you forget about it, but energetically it no longer bothers you, no longer drains you and keeps you in the past.

If you have no confidence to start your healing on your own, find someone else who could assist you. Someone you feel very comfortable with so that you can open up. Try different people and different approaches, see what works for you, stick to what works for you for a while, but also explore different modalities at the same time. You know that you are in the process of healing if you have increased confidence, feeling lighter and happier, if you no longer have an emotional charge to the memory or the wound, if you feel you’re expanding and feeling good in your own skin. Commit to your healing. Be happy, be well.

With love, Jolita